Every once in a while I tend to go out on a tangent and write a post that’s not MMO related. Today is another one of those days.
Yesterday I finally got a chance to watch the new Stargate series called Stargate Universe. Now before I get into it allow me to give you some background on my SG experiences. I’ve only seen the movie once, thought it was ok, and never watched more than 5 mins of any of the previous series cause they looked cheesy as hell, Power Rangers cheesy. So you can call me a Stargate noob since I don’t really know any of it’s history. But I do love me some good sci-fi and since it looked pretty good in the commercials I thought I’d give it a try. On another note, I’d say Battlestar Galactica was my favorite series of all time so I was hoping that SGU would be its replacement show. Apparently not.
The show starts off interesting enough, then flashes back to show us how everyone got there. This is where we’re introduced to Eli, a pudgy gamer who happens to be a genius and solves a mathematical proof while playing some sort of video game. This was the first tipoff that the shows was going to be horrible. Who the hell wrote this? Some Stargate fanboy high school dropout gamer? I’m sorry, but solving a mathematical proof in a video game is not possible. Forget about the logistics of how you would even go about integrating a extremely complex math problem into a graphical video game, but how the f*ck would the game know that the answer is right if it was never solved in the first place. Seconds after he solves it the doorbell rings and we see a guy in a military uniform and are introduced to Rush, the genius mathematician that wasn’t smart enough to solve the equation himself, but smart enough to integrate it into a video game. Hmm, maybe if he didn’t spend all his time doing that he could have actually solved it himself.
The conversation that follows was so ridiculous I started to think maybe the show was going to be a comedy spoof of Stargate. Sadly it is not.
After being beemed to a spaceship that’s orbiting Earth, he meets some other people and is then beemed to another planet where the military is working on a Stargate they found. First of all, what year is this? Is SGU supposed to be present day? The video game he was playing sure looked it it. Do people know about the space ship or the other planet? Nothing was explained which would have been very helpful.
If everything was a secret, then the show can just end now cause it’s a huge pile of crap. Why the hell were there civilians everywhere if it was a secret? Why would you invite a Senator and his daughter? Oh, she’s your assistant, ok, here’s access to top secret information about our space ships and colonization of an alien planet. But it’s ok, she’s your assistant and daughter.
Seriously WTF is wrong with the writers.
Next there is an attack on the planet where the Stargate is by some unknown alien race. Again I don’t know anything about how Stargates work, but the reactor that generates power for the Stargate was damaged in the attack and when it blew up the entire planet exploded. Can someone explain this to me? Can someone please explain to me how a reactor that is so powerful that it can blow up an entire planet is so ill protected that a few attackers with laser missiles can blow it up. Maybe there was an external exhaust pipe that lead all the way to the core and one of the alien attackers used the force to get a direct hit. Come on, that was ok 40 yrs ago, but not today.
The stupidity continued after all the survivors from the military base jump into the Stargate to end up on some alien ship that has been traveling for millions of years without any crew. Aside from Eli bugging the sh#t out of me with his “humor”, I didn’t understand why everyone was mad at Rush. Did I miss something? It seems like everyone jumped through the Stargate, then everyone was mad at him because he spoke first.
More stupid sci-fi cliches continued as you had Rush and Eli reading and being able to use alien computers without the slightest knowledge of what they were actually doing. I’m sorry, but it takes me a few mins to figure out a Mac yet alone a computer thats 100 million years old, but it’s ok Eli’s good at vidoe games.
As the series opener I don’t think it could have gone worse. They need to kill off Eli and fire the writers if they want to save this show, the’re both terrible. Considering just how horrible the writing was, I actually think everyone aside from Eli did a pretty decent job, but still the series opener for Stargate Universe sucked.