Fair Game: To Gamers, With Love

So here we are again, deep in December, the cynic’s most beloathed time of the year. After the punishing circus of rage and despair that has been 2010, I am, if possible, even more cynical than ever. By rights, I should be huddled in a corner, guzzling gin and threatening passersby with the awesome, shed-on-demand firepower of a disgruntled cat.

And yet… Despite all logic, somewhere, deep within the ossified recesses of my withered black heart, a tiny spark of humanity remains. And in a burst of uncharacteristic generosity, (that I fervently hope I’ll get over soon) I hereby bequest that spark to you, my fellow gamers, with love.

I wish for you, keyboard free of gunk; wireless, weightless and telepathic, for those days when even typing a simple emote seems just too much trouble.

I wish for you a video card that never pixilates or fragments.  May your graphics always flow smooth as glass and as glorious as a summer’s day.

May you find a processor powerful enough to handle your favorite game with all the expansion packs and a thousand fantastic mods, like a champion. May you never know a moment’s game lag, nor inexplicable crash.

I wish for you a passel of open servers, between which you may freely jump at will, meeting friends and battling evil as you please; no fees.

May your travels never be hampered by hardship, nor troubled by trolls, (the online kind.) If it’s possible that you never know the hateful shenanigans of a griefer, I would have it so.

I wish that all your mounts be swift and comely.

May your drops be plentiful and sell for much.

May your armor always suit your personal style, whatever that style may be. May customizations and dye flow freely and always at half price.

I wish for you battles untroubled by noobs and runners. May your health never be drained nor you meet your defeat by the unwanted aggro of careless strangers.

I hope that you never know the indignity of an inept pick-up group.  May all your battles, be they with friends and strangers alike, be glorious.

I wish for you a spouse that shares your passion for gaming or, if not, one that understands that sometimes it’s better to have a new hard drive and make do with an old coat.

And finally, I wish for you time; time to explore the worlds of your fancy at your leisure and without restraint.  I wish for you time that expands and contracts as need be, so that pleasure is extended, grinding is minimized and all that must be accomplished AFK is done, done well and on time.

And there we are, the spark has been passed. Enjoy it before it fizzles and I’ll see you all back here next week when, I promise, I’ll have my curmudgeon shoes firmly back on my feet and ready to kick some ass.

Fair Game updates every Monday.

By: Lisa Jonte – New installments of Fair Game can be found at MMORPG.com.