RealID: Think of the Consequences Before Posting with Your Real Name — Especially Women

July 8, 2010 pixiestixy General 25

You don't stalk the Mistress of Pain; the Mistress of Pain stalks YOU.

Girl Gamers. Some (uninformed) people still don’t believe that we exist. And others jump all over us when they find out that we do.

The newly announced, incoming RealID changes that eliminate anonymity on the official forums have the potential to not only reveal that we actually do exist (quite plentifully,too), but also to put our names on the line and potentially expose us to in-game or IRL harassment, stalking or worse.

Well, those are the worst case scenarios. Most of us probably will see little, if any difference in how we’re treated based on putting our IRL names out there. But there is that potential.

Since the announcement came, I’ve been trudging through the forums and other areas of the interwebs looking for legitimate possible concerns for women. And there are quite a few. I’ve heard horror stories of a past female WoW player whose IRL identity was exposed, and some jerk decided to spam post her phone number in trade chat. I’ve heard tales of female gamers getting stalked after they decided to put their IRL name out there.

Now, how many of these are true, and how many are overblown? I’m not trying to be alarmist, but it is a serious enough subject that everyone — not only women, but everyone — should make some real considerations before deciding whether to post on the forums after the changes.

Before you make your decision, let’s look at a few of the arguments being made around the web concerning women and privacy issues.

Celebrity girl gamer Felicia Day and yours truly, Pixiestixy aka Christa Desrets at Blizzcon '09.

Obviously to anyone reading the 1,300 (and counting) pages of comments on the issue, the incoming RealID forums changes have quickly become a hot-button issue to all. Well-known girl gamer and WoW player Felicia Day jumped into the discussion Wednesday with a Twitter update on the topic:

Lots of mixed responses to the Blizzard thing, but overwhelmingly seems women are upset about it.

Felicia also pointed to a great argument on Hellmode against the implementation of RealID and the display of IRL names on the official forums:

Women might find it harsher with new avenues of harassment opened. Transgendered people could be inadvertently outted when someone sees Sally, the friendly Paladin chick, posting under the name Steve. Someone could have a distinctive name and be disregarded solely because their name sounded like a person of a certain background, race, religion, or otherwise. And if someone’s a minor–or even major–celebrity, having their name exposed could be damaging. From Felicia Day to Mila Kunis, I doubt they’d like their alternative identity exposed simply because they decided to post a suggestion on the WoW forums or report a bug to support.

As this post eloquently pointed out, it’s not just women who need to think through these potential issues. Everyone should, and especially anyone who could be a potential target to ignorant specimens of the human species.

Here’s four examples of why forum posters say they aren’t supportive of  how these changes may affect women:

I’m a girl and I post on a male troll for a reason…
I don’t really.. want people to know so much about me from a glance.

Girls wont post for fear of being stalked. And knowing some channers, its easy to stalk ppl with just some basic info.

Girl Gamer + real name = stalked.

OK, i quit the forums. Not many with my last name out there, and with a little bit of logic/social engineering skills, you’d definately be able to figure out which facebook is mine, and myspace etc.

This girl gamer is not touching the new forums with a 10 foot pole. Thank god this is not retroactive.

I live in this world, and because I live in this world, I like the anonymity of the internet. I like World of Warcraft for a similar reason (among many others), but I rather enjoy being able to have a discussion with a person without them immediately knowing my gender and my gender being irrelevant to the conversation. I like that someone can’t waltz into a conversation and immediately dismiss me “because I’m a girl”.

Blizzard is taking that away from me, from many women, as far as their forums go.

…I will no longer use their forums if they force me to use my real name. I already live in a world where I am treated poorly because of my gender, and I like to escape from that when I go online.

Now while some people seem to be quite supportive of these changes, when it comes to this specific issue, I scrolled through the first ~150 pages of comments, and couldn’t find one single positive reaction specific to women.

So let me add one. You know that stereotype that assumes girl gamers must suck at what we do? Now’s our chance to prove that notion dead wrong.

All of these potentials sound too scary? Well, as Heartbourne pointed out, you always have the very simple option of not posting on the Blizzard forums. Or the ultimate alternative — take your business elsewhere.

The bottom line: Up until now, posting on the forums has been a relatively casual experience and hasn’t required much thought. But that’s changing. If these changes go through as planned, everyone needs to take some time to deliberate on whether you’re comfortable putting your name on the line when posting. Because you’ll have to live with the consequences of your decision — whether they be minor (as I suspect they will be for most people) or significant.

25 Comments

  1. True story…

    I have a few female friends in WoW, many of them are better raiders than certain guys I know. Also some of my guilds’ best raiders are female.
    And yes, I KNOW that they are female, we’ve been in the same guild for long enough, but it doesn’t bother me at all, they get treated how I’d like to be treated. a gamer is a gamer, no matter the race or sex etc.

    The end.

    :)

  2. Another point the Hellmode article made for girl gamers (like m’self) is the possibility of over-the-top white-knighting. It doesn’t happen in my guild (where the players are mostly older, male AND female, many with kids) but I could see a situation where a girl gamer gets her ID revealed, and is suddenly showered with gifts and/or offers of help simply because of her gender (and possibly in hopes of reciprocation ifyaknowwhatImean), which could almost be as obnoxious as malicious stalking.

    Something else I have seen little mention of (besides the Hellmode article) is racism based on name. Someone could be an amazing raider or have incredibly insightful thoughts on a certain aspect of the game, and then it turns out his name is Li Wushang or Tyrone Robinson or Walid Al’faisar and his opinion is thrown out or mocked or even threatened by a certain number of other forum-goers. Yes, that is a worst-case scenario, but the worst case is the one that Blizzard needs to consider.

    I just think it’s a bad idea for everyone. I believe there other options to reduce trolling and creating a more cohesive community. I couple I’ve seen that might work would be to create a user name to go along with your realID address to be used on the forums, that way you always post under the same name; or to have all of one’s alts listed either under your post in a signature or under your picture on the sidebar. I think those are both viable solutions, since Blizz has posted that “they know who you are”, even when posting under a LOLTROLL L1 alt.

    Let’s work this out! =D

  3. My guilds Pally heals is a girl and I have more respect for her than any other person I’ve ever played wow with. Not because she is a female girl that is raising 2(soon to be 3) kids, but because she is good at what she does.

    Keeping the tank alive and explaining raid strats.

    Six months ago one of our best rogue DPS was a female, and our best caster dps was a female. Granted all these ‘girls’ have been older than the rest of the guild with the exception of the pally, so it may just be maturity in a pool of under 20 year olds and I finally get to work with people my age regardless of gender.

  4. Stalking Stalking Stalking. No offense, but I seriously doubt there are people in this game with that much of persona. And even if they did, that’s what police and restraining orders were built for. (the irl /ignore :P)

    But really Pixie, it’s the 21st century and most people do Not honestly care if your girl playing a game. We know you can be good, that’s not a surprise anymore. We know you can still look hot while playing, and we know you can be dedicated.

    Your no different than guys by a long shot. I mean people Joke about it because back in the 80’s, it was more of a guy thing. But really, old news.

  5. @NextGender: It really isn’t, and it’s not just about women.

    Someone I used to raid with gender changed back before WoW started. This person was fairly talkative on vent and opinionated about their class. But once people in the guild learned about the gender change, the amount of harrassment was rather startling. The GM of the guild was not above making jabs at issue, even in the most inappropriate times.

    Gender MATTERS to people, no matter how much we want to claim that it doesn’t. I’m a woman and I try to avoid bringing ti up one way or the other. It doesn’t matter to me if people think I’m a guy because I know better. But a quick “hello” in a vent channel when I’m trying to raid with a PUG can shut people up amazingly fast and in some cases has even made people ignore any point I might have been trying to make about a fight.

    Some people don’t care what gender you are, but some people do. And the people who do will make your gaming life a living hell if you let them.

  6. The only way you can not care about this change is being from another country. My guild is a combination of people from South American countries and, honestly, our girls don’t care, because it is totally pointless to stalk a girl who lives like hundreds of thousands kilometers away. In fact, one of them is a very good friend of mine, and it isn’t because we play WoW, but because we met each other through the game and ended up talking about our lives.

    I think the main problem among gamer girls is attitude. One of my female guildmates was actually harrassed in another game by a no-one until she confronted him verbally and had him reported and permabanned. As this RealID thing will be happening whether we like it or not, I think girls will have to defend themselves and show those bastards who is the boss. I mean, hopefully you won’t because now peoploe would be good, but if you were hard, now is the time to be harder.

    Cheers /drinks ale.

  7. Okay, I know this is the hot gossip right now and frankly it is already starting to annoy me. First of all I see that most of this forum is pointed to women, I am all for women’s rights; but there are some things we really have to look at. I know many women and they have dirty tricks just like men, I know a lot of women who have went on a date because they were hungry. Men are called pig, dogs, snakes, etc. by women and as me we just chuckle and move on; but if you ever question a women’s motives you are out of line, and that is sexual harassment.

    Stalking in the way a lot of people on forums have described it is basically in a nut shell a man seeking a women that doesn’t like him, but refuses to tell him because she is scared. So he continues to pursue her and then it becomes stalking. I am going on this rant because I see a lot of problem with the minorities that use to be oppressed, are becoming the majorities that do the oppressing. I am a white male, every where I go and in everything I do I have to walk on egg shells because I might offend someone and get labeled as a racist, or try and talk to a girl then I am a stalker. I mean we really have to define these lines, yes don’t get me wrong I know it happens but not everyone out there is.

    Everyone takes the same risk of being stalked, murdered, and robed but all that seems to be talked about when this situation comes up in minorities. Why is no one asking how the white male feels about this, because if anyone were to put that up they would be flamed to hell and back? Am I the only person that sees this, it is a damn outrage? I have played with women, some are good and some are terrible, just like men. I am sure I will get flamed for this if not banned, but I am going to say it because I am tired of hearing all this crap about how bad minorities in life have it. I have to walk on egg shells at my job, at my school, in public, at a bar etc; so I don’t offend someone of a minority group. I am not a hatter, sexiest, I personal don’t care how you live your life; but I am tired of being told how I have to live mine so I don’t offend anyone.

    I can’t wait to see this go away, so something new can come on to the internet. This topic just needs to die; please all you bloggers out there stop writing about this topic, let it die. Just like racism if you keep bringing it up you keep it alive. Just so this is clear this is not an attack on pixie, this is a rant that I think people should start really looking at. As a single white male in the professional world I have to worry about losing my job to a person with a family, and a minority. Even though I may have the better resume I can still lose the job, because companies do have quotas that they have to fill assigned to them by the federal government. They have to have so many minorities in their company, that is discrimination but it is okay because it is discrimination again white males they deserve it right? Trust me it does happen, it is not just so lie that the white male tries to feed the minorities to make them feel better.

  8. I am sorry for the mistakes in the writing please do not be distracted by them, and acually read what I am saying and think about it. Thank you.

  9. While it’s now moot, I’d like to chime in that I’m disappointed that it was even brought up. While the risk might be there that anyone can be stalked and/or harassed, it makes it even more likely when you’re female. You don’t have to like it, or even believe it, but it doesn’t change that fact.

    I like my privacy, I like playing WoW and I like knowing that when people play with me they see the player and not the sex. I like to know when they say “Holy Crap, you just did 18k single target on that boss!” that they’re saying it because they appreciate how you play and not because they think that somehow, maybe, someday, they might get to sleep with you.

    I rarely speak in Vent with my guild, because I don’t want my sex to be a constant issue, and I never use it in PUG’s because the chat lights up like a wall of purple. Most of the people on my server barely know who I am because I don’t call attention to myself, and less than half know that I’m female IRL. I got comfortable enough with the guys in my guild to post a picture and my real first name, but took it down when we were actively recruiting.

    It’s not just WoW. I’ve been stalked (real stalked and not “omg, that ugly guy asked me out and I saw him again at the mall a year later” stalked) , followed home, groped, etc. and the last thing I want to deal with when I log onto a fantasy game is fending off advances.

    Forcing us to use our real names would have made it so much worse.

  10. First you have to be pretty narcissistic to believe that every guy you come across will want to sleep with you. You took my point of indecisiveness of not telling a guy that you’re not interested, and extended it to an awful attempt to render my point invalid. By you saying you put the picture up after saying you are so fearful of men, leads me to believe that you just wanted someone to get googlie over you so you can scream stalked. See now I am taking your point and extending it to ridiculous proportions. It doesn’t matter if I believe it or not witch I pointed out that I did, but the fact still remains that not every male that is around you wants to sleep with you. You act like wow is speed dating and the bar scene, guys don’t care anymore if you’re a women or not, and if they do stay away from them.

    Ignore feature is the best feature in the game use it. If you know how to play it doesn’t matter if you are male or female, because you will never have to be worried about being called out over vent. I been in a couple guilds that women players were in, and the males almost never wanted to say anything to a women when they were screwing up, because they didn’t want the women to be someone like you and make it a sex situation when it is just a situation of the women not doing her job right like everyone else has too. If you want to be held in high regards in a guild, you have to perform like everyone else male or female.

  12. “First you have to be pretty narcissistic to believe that every guy you come across will want to sleep with you. You took my point of indecisiveness of not telling a guy that you’re not interested, and extended it to an awful attempt to render my point invalid. By you saying you put the picture up after saying you are so fearful of men, leads me to believe that you just wanted someone to get googlie over you so you can scream stalked.”

    Um, dude… I wasn’t even talking to you. Who’s the narcissist again?

    I’m not “fearful of men”, I get along very well with men for the most part. BUT, as a woman who is average looks-wise and doesn’t dress provocatively, I still get my share of unwanted attention. Unwanted… get it? There ARE some very scary guys out there, and we have no way of differentiating between them and the normals at the beginning, so we’ve learned to be wary.

    I don’t get “called out” in vent either, I just don’t see the need to speak unnecessarily… because when in a group of people that aren’t “used” to you, you get a lot of tells, some of them downright icky. So I’ve learned not to do it.

    My point about putting up a pic, and then taking it down was to illustrate that we should have to reveal only enough about ourselves as we’re comfortable with, with the people we CHOOSE to share that information with. The guys in my guild are great, and we had a “put a face to the name” thread so I participated. However, I did have one of the new recruits send me a tell about my pic so I removed it before others joined.

    While you might not care that there are females in the game, there are still some maladjusted guys who really do, and think that “female” gamers all look like the pictures they’ve seen online of blond chicks in belf costumes so they act accordingly.

    Just an FYI, in case you missed the whole “omg, the ugly guy… ” statement, I don’t take accusations of stalking lightly. In the one case when I “screamed stalking” (what an odd choice of words) the police took it as seriously as I did.

    “If you want to be held in high regards in a guild, you have to perform like everyone else male or female.”

    Duh….

    ” I been in a couple guilds that women players were in, and the males almost never wanted to say anything to a women when they were screwing up, because they didn’t want the women to be someone like you and make it a sex situation when it is just a situation of the women not doing her job right like everyone else has too.”

    That’s quite a judgment and a leap of logic for you to make about me based on what I said. You know nothing of my capabilities as a player, yet you assume that I’ve been called out, and infer that not only have I been screwing up, but the guys in my guild are afraid to tell me so. Along with the comment about my imagined belief that every guy wants to sleep with me, I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re not as blase about female players as you profess to be.

  13. Your conclusions mean nothing to me; I did not infer anything about you being called out. You assumed that I did, basically you been assuming the whole time.

    Just an FYI, in case you missed the whole “omg, the ugly guy… ” statement, I don’t take accusations of stalking lightly. In the one case when I “screamed stalking” (what an odd choice of words) the police took it as seriously as I did.

    You really need to learn how to take information out of what you read. I said “See now I am taking your point and extending it to ridiculous proportions.” To give you an example that no one wants what they have said taken to ridiculous proportions and then criticized. If you are going to criticize someone make sure it is about what they said. You had two very close responses to things that I had said in the post before you.

    You:”You don’t have to like it, or even believe it, but it doesn’t change that fact.”
    That seemed like an opinion on my whole post.

    You: “(real stalked and not “omg, that ugly guy asked me out and I saw him again at the mall a year later” stalked)”
    Me: “Stalking in the way a lot of people on forums have described it is basically in a nut shell a man seeking a women that doesn’t like him, but refuses to tell him because she is scared. So he continues to pursue her and then it becomes stalking.” Both those lines of text seemed directed to my post, I could be wrong, but it seems likely.

    ” I been in a couple guilds that women players were in, and the males almost never wanted to say anything to a women when they were screwing up, because they didn’t want the women to be someone like you and make it a sex situation when it is just a situation of the women not doing her job right like everyone else has too.”
    This was an observation; again you assumed it was directed at you. Like I told you before I don’t care that women play, I have been in guilds with good women players and bad; I don’t know or care if you are a good player or not.

    So with all this assuming going on, who is narcissistic?

  14. I request that this be locked or closed, because this argument is going to never end and no point will be realized out of this argument. It has now become a pointless waste of time; this will be the last time I post anything about this subject.

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