What Would Get Me Back Into Hearthstone

I, like many out there, jumped on Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft pretty hard when it was released. For months I researched, played and wrote about Blizzard Entertainment’s first digital card game. A game that fit perfectly with the developer’s pedigree; join a hot market and release a highly refined version of it. I’d log in daily to kill a quest or two, farm down to a minimum of a cardback level and attempt to best my significant other. As time wore on I saw expansions and adventure packs pass me by so fast my head spun.

Now, to be fair, this was largely due to a very unusual occurrence. Blizzard, a game company well know for Soon™ development, released quicker than a jackrabbit on speed. It didn’t matter that I was busy with World of Warcraft Time Paradox or whatever else. The speed was insane. You’d get used to being trounced by a Kel’thuzad and a goblin would roll in like he owns the joint (he may). Or you’d get used to seeing Blackhand only to be devoured by a dinosaur (same intelligence). Now we’re back in what is arguably the high point of Warcraft lore, the Frozen Throne, and the digital card game whispers to me like a particular nathrezim. This begs the question, if not now, then when, or more correctly, what, would get me back into Hearthstone (no longer Heroes of Warcraft).

Buns and Guns

Sex appeal is a thing. Why not fantastical sex appeal? I dunno. Sure, you can point to our numerous cosplay slideshows but T&A doesn’t really work on me in this instance. Perhaps it’s the engineer in me not believing a person could stand with such incredible…pectoral muscles. Or that you could lift a warhammer with a waste as large as the shaft.

Heroes of Warcraft

Naturally, lore. Warcraft IV is unlikely to come anytime soon (prove me wrong Blizzard!). I’ve queried the fine folks at Blizzard a few times on this topic. Unfortunately, Hearthstone, plain and simple, will never be canon. There was a sparkle that some aspects of new lore could be entered into the world, such as the storylines from the Mean Streets of Gadgetzan, but alas, no dice.

A New Challenge Has Entered

A boast. That’s very likely the thing to get me back into Hearthstone. You’ll recall that I used to challenge my wife at this digital card game. She was informing me how even she had been losing interest. She felt that she had fallen behind the curve even while playing an hour or so a day. So dire was her strait that she could not conquer the Knights of the Frozen Throne Adventure. Enter my boastful self. Her problem wasn’t cards or play time, but focus and strategy. I followed up the bold proclamation with a claim that I could beat the Adventure with my current cards.

Oh, Crap

Shaktaji accepted the challenge. And thus begins my planning for the next Lorehound stream, the first to feature Hearthstone since the last Valentine Side Beau. More importantly, the planning of how to leverage two year old cards to beat a brand new Adventure.

Perhaps they didn’t balance for that?