Greetings from the demon infested front! Let us hail the return of our dark overlord Jaraxxus as he has crawled back out of the deep twisting pits of the Nether to, hopefully, crush more trifling gnomes beneath his terrifying goat legs of fiery doom! But before we get to the cupcakes and games, let’s first go into full length detail of how the glorious overlord came to be and his master’s main plot for absolute destruction of the sleeping Titan of Azeroth!
*SPOILERS AHEAD!* Some of what you read may touch on things from within the Warcraft Chronicle, which if you haven’t read by now then shame on you, I’m not going to lower myself to your level of ignorance. I mean really, you shouldn’t be looking up lore on the Burning Legion. Now good news for you all this stuff happens before WoW takes place, timeline wise, and will lead up into The Burning Crusade with a little bit of added hints of stuff on demons in MoP and WoD. SO LET’S BEGIN! (Be on the lookout for intentional errors that I have placed throughout the summery. Upon discovering them, leave a comment naming each one and you’ll get the satisfaction of paying attention and, therefore, regaining back what ignorance you spent off. [Ed Note: I hate you.])
A long time ago, in some far off Night Elf place, which was most likely dark and sparkly, the land was once a giant super continent known as Pangea. This super continent, like that of how the planet Earth was millions of years ago, was the combination of all four of the continents that now remain. Kalimdor, the Eastern Kingdoms, Pandaria, and even Northrend were at once all connected to each other. Back then, the bulk of the world of Azeroth was inhabited by Trolls who would soon find their way coming into light that they were ugly and no one liked them. A bunch of these Dark Trolls found this nature stuff and they were all “hey, dis stuft is pritteh neet and we could totally one day be turnin’ into kitties and owl-manbearpigs and stuft”. So they totally embraced that power and then some of them fell asleep for a long time only to wake up in times of great crisis. Now along the way some of these emo trolls started losing their tusks and and growing long manes of pretty fluffy hair. They adapted good posture and didn’t fling obscene things at each other anymore then one day they somehow realized they couldn’t die from being old and gross anymore. One day they looked at all this stuff that happened and then were all like “What’s going on here? And how come we donut sound like half baked ideas?” (ref. can’t choose between Cuban and Jamaican accents. [Ed. note: Do you know people with either of those accents?]) Then those trolls decided they weren’t trolls anymore and they went all, “We’re elves now and we worship this hot babe in the sky. You know the one I’m talking about. She only comes out at night and is super hot and stuff.” Notice, no more t. The babes, and their male counterparts, proceeded to call that thing Elune.
Skipping forward a few years, the Troll/Elves or whatever they decided they wanted to call themselves now, made these social classes for their genders and some elves weren’t cool with that because the Men were told they had to go to sleep and have really bad dreams. They also had to kill shit in those dreams, and the women stayed awake and got really cranky and killed shit that got too close to their water, which was near this big tree that they worshiped. Oh yeah, they also had this pet dragon that was green that was also asleep and the women killed things that got close to her too. So one day there were these cool dudes who were all like, “We don’t want to use nature magic and go to sleep and have never ending bad dreams anymore. Plus, we found this other stuff that’s totally more powerful than nature magic and we have a hot chick of our own who might be crazy, but she totally promised us a good time, so we’re off to go bang worship that”. Plot twist: they never got to bang worship that. Anyway, so that crazy hot chick decided she wanted all this power and some of those cool dudes weren’t cool with that because it wasn’t cool to want all that power. They sort of distanced themselves away from the crazy hot chick, then the crazy hot chick was like “Let’s summon these neon green guys that will totally make me more hot and irresistible.” So the dudez that followed that chick were all like “Eh, idunno…” then the crazy hot chick was all “I’ll show you my Elunes. They’re real, and they’re spectacular.” and then they were all “YAY! OK, LET’S SUMMON THESE GREEN DUDEZ”. Plot twist, they never got to see those Elunes to confirm.
So like all the things go down between the nature magic dudes and the fel magic dudes, and, basically, that really crazy, really hot chick summons the Legion of Evil Demons who shorten their name sometime later because Legion just sounds better. After she summons the demon dudes in they make this giant whirlpool of green stuff that they’re hoping will teleport their boss to Azeroth, because he can’t go really, really fast for some reason. Now that the really crazy hot chick has her demon power, this blind dude shows up who is totally prepared and helps pwn her and her dudez that totally want to see her Elunes. Then he pwns this big pitlord guy with ultimate demon power that he totally thinks he needs, while his brother and chick he wants to bang are totally like “OH NOEZ!”. Shortly after he that he sort of saves the world. Sorta. He becomes way too powerful and his brother basically slaps him and says “No way bro, you crossed the line this time.” Uncool brother puts the blind dude in jail. In the words of the internet, that basically sums up the very beginning of the Legion’s interest with the planet, or sleeping Titan World, of Azeroth. It does not stop there.
The Dark Titan known as Sargeras, spent most of his life hunting evil, that eventually, in some fashion or another, however you look at it, sort of became evil himself. His passion for ridding the universe of the evil taint left by the Void Lords drove him mad with fear, and eventually he formed the Legion from the banishment plane of Mardum, a demonic army bent on cleansing corrupt Void Lord planets by basically incinerating them. Sargeras would eventually conquer world after world, and absorb some sentient races he found useful into his army in his never ending plot to stop the Void Lords, and thus the Legion was born. The War of the Ancients, which is loosely described above, was the earliest attempt to conquer Azeroth, by the Legion. There are many stories, as well as alternate universes, in which involves one epic freaking Orc, jumping through a portal, wounding the Dark Titan with a wooden axe, only to get crushed by Sargeras, but taking up enough time that the portal the Dark Titan would have used to take over Azeroth with would close on top of him sending him into a limbo-like state. Some over 9,000 years later, the Dark Titan sends his Avatar to the planet’s surface who then does battle with the demonic protectors, the Guardian of Tirisfal. This one in particular who is named Agewynn, fights and slays the Avatar of Sargeras, then entombs him within the Broken Isles in secret. Little did she know that she would be corrupted by his soul, which she would later pass to her child, who we know as Medivh.
With the opening of the Dark Portal by the corrupted Medivh, the fel-powered Orcs were the staging ground for Sargeras’s new plan. However, there were many that would not bow to the will of the fel. Eventually, through means of good old fashion savagery, they pretty much overthrew their corrupt warlords to make a home for themselves on the non-ruined world of Azeroth. At around the time of the Second War, Sargeras is feeling a little like Doctor Claw from Inspector Gadget, being thwarted at every turn. It wasn’t too long before the beginning of the Third War that Sargeras would send his Nathrezim infiltrators to con their way into manipulating the populaces of Azeroth in various ways. Mal’Ganis used the sleeping power of the Scourge through the means of the Lich King Ner’Zul, but after Kel’Thuzad and Arthas let loose Archimonde onto Azeroth, who soon then after was killed by a bunch of fairy light bulbs, saw the plot of their demon overlords, and split ties before they knew what the heck was going on.
Tichondrias and his brothers were left behind on Azeroth after Archimonde became what was known as the biggest embarrassment the Burning Legion has ever witnessed. In secret, they would come up with plan after plan to redeem themselves in the eyes of their Dark Master, but soon would meet their end after betrayal of a betrayal would eventually betray them, but not before they set their own betrayal, which wouldn’t show much progress. Hey, why not invite themselves to one massive clusterf*ck betrayal party. With a few of Tichondrias’ brothers going into hiding after that, the Burning Legion would lay dormant at least for a few years after the Third War.
Even after the reopening of the Dark Portal, when Illidan tried to achieve, whatever he was trying to achieve, the Burning Legion didn’t make much plight until Kil’Jaeden, pretty much Sargeras’ right hand, corrupted Kael’Thas and the Blood Elf population into rebuilding the Sunwell and transforming it into a giant demonic gateway that would, hopefully for him, pour in the second invasion of the Burning Legion. However the heroes of Azeroth, with the help of the Naaru, “Sparta’d” his red ass back through the portal and cleansed the magical vat with the power of the Divine Light. Ever since then, the Burning Legion has been scheming to come up with another plan to invade Azeroth once more. Those assholes figured out another.
There you have it, the Burning Legion and its history with the Sleeping Titan, Azeroth. I hope it pumped you up enough to go to town on those demon jerks and kick them off our world for good. After all, iTZKooPA is back, the jerk that put in all those [Ed. Note] things. We can pretty much take care of the old gods ourselves who are probably a lot stronger than the Legion, but whateves. IT’S OUR WORLD! NOT YOURS! LET US RUIN IT IF WE WANT! YOU’RE NOT MY DAD, SARGERAS!
